NOTES DAY (No matter what's going on.)

Friday; so here is a recapitulation of the week's activities and some thoughts for the future:

1. Last Friday, July 23, Carson - our newest grandson - was born. Today, a week later, he is still in the hospital; improving each day, after giving doctors, nurses, parents, grandparents, everyone, a bit of a rough introduction. While he has fought, we have been unwillingly reminded of the many babies who are sicker, in more distress, and our prayers have been offered for them, as well as Carson. We learn from even the worst situations.

2.  I returned from San Diego, squared things away at home for critters and housesitters, and flew up to Spokane to visit my parents and try to figure out a better situation for them. Seeing them - Father in skilled nursing and believing he doesn't need to be there; Mother in Assisted Living, somewhat oblivious to the happenings of the world - is hard. Trying to figure out what next step will be best and extend their resources as best possible is also hard.  So far, we're batting 1,000 on making questionable decisions.  Learning once again.

3.  I'll return to SLC for the weekend, then go back to San Diego to relieve the maternal Grandmother in helping Carson's family. Fortunately, my supportive husband will remain at home - critters will be happy about that.

4. Attended a great yoga class yesterday with Karen Sprute-Francovich.  Karen just returned from a meditation/asana retreat, and her first class was this one - a Level 1-2.  As I drove to Garden Street Yoga in Coeur d'Alene, I wondered whether this was wise -- lots of stress in the past week - could I hold up through handstands, backbends, or whatever she might ask me to do (considering the emotions, that is).

Her introduction included a description of the retreat and then she queried each of us in the room about what we had been experiencing. I could tell 'I'm fine' would not be the answer of choice - we were to tell the truth. Several had been dealing with physical stuff, one with exhaustion, me with stress. Karen skillfully crafted her class plan on the spot - after hearing what all of us had going on. AND, IT WAS A WONDERFUL CLASS - we moved, we opened, we carefully entered a standing pose or two, then - the final 20 minutes - were restorative. Sometimes things just feel right; this class felt right. Thank you, Karen.

5.  I continue to read with interest all the responses to the Times article about Anusara® yoga. If you read my post of a couple days (My Story), you'll know my history. I have practiced other styles of yoga. Once I found Anusara®, however, the wisdom of the practice to align the body, the lightheartedness of the practice as we look for the good, and the people I've shared this experience with, all have made this style my style. Nothing I've read will change my mind or make me question anyone's motives or aspirations. John Friend has been a wonderful teacher, an approachable guide, and a good friend to me along my journey.

6.  Sundari reviewed the video, and - in the midst of planning for a BIG family event, her own Therapeutics Training this Fall, teaching, etc. - took the time to send me 3 pages of single-spaced, typewritten comments. I am so blessed. I have a feeling that, once I get a video through her and move to the next step in this process; it will be a pretty darn good class. (Advice to readers, once again: choose your personal mentors wisely.)

As complimentary as she was (because she is looking for the good first, right?), there are things which need "cleaning up". The good thing? Suggestions for alternative languaging were offered; and she didn't just say something like 'improve your demo'; she said 'improve your demo by . . . . . .'; so helpful.

7.  I opened my 'notes' and came upon this entry, which relates to some of the comments Sundari made. (This is from a Level 2 Teacher Training with John, 10/09.) "Effort is fueled by meaningfulness. You have to give students something to hold onto." Then, a few lines down, "make it meaningful and they will do it or at least try".  A good time to reflect on or notice my language when I teach.

Example:  I'm teaching a class on courage or trust. Do I say "take your right leg back to high lunge" (boring) or could I say "use your muscle energy to hug the midline, and from the courage and trust this creates, step your right leg back for a high lunge" (better).  Like that.

Enjoy your 'notes day', aka Friday,

UPDATE, Etc. . . .

My newest Grandson, Carson, is having better days. Weaning off the ventilator, being held and getting diapers changed by his Mother. (When, in our previously uncomplicated lives, would she ever have enjoyed changing a diaper so much!?!?) It's a better time; there may still be issues to deal with; but, better.

I returned to SLC on Monday, squared away the critters for the housesitter, and took a flight up to deal with parental issues. I receive my updates on Carson and family via phone (and, now a blog started by the parents). If things weren't going so well, that would be difficult; but, we do what we have to do. And, things are going well.

Thank you, all, for your positive thoughts and prayers for this little one.

Then, I've been reading with interest reaction to the Times article regarding Anusara® Yoga and John Friend, first was the response from instructors of Anusara® Yoga, and - most recently - John's personal response. In all of these, the intention has been to acknowledge the article was mostly accurate; and, then, to point out inaccuracies with explanation. (to read John's response, go to Anusara.com, click on community, go to 'John's blog' (the original article is also linked there).

I know when I read the article, I was a bit put off by the author and wondered about her intentions. I read similar comments and felt justified. Then, I read BJ Galvan's blog and was able to put my reaction more in perspective. Still, tho, I sense an unsettledness in the community as a result; and I know that when I'm unsettled I can fall victim to saying unwarranted or unhealthy comments.

A good reminder this morning came from Olga's blog (www.aligningwithgrace.blogspot.com), in which she talks about the '4 Gates of Speech' when considering the words we use.

Are they true? 

Are they necessary? 

Are they beneficial? 

Are they kind?

In my year of trying to speak more clearly, I refer to these 'gates' frequently - and, I find there are many times that I'd love to say something that doesn't meet the criteria to pass the gate. It would make for much more interesting conversation, if I could get it through the gate.

Another 'gate' I've been introduced to is "Is it my story?".

What does 'is it my story?' mean to me? That my right to relay the story is limited. I cannot relay it with accuracy, because I'm not one of the characters. I also don't have permission to relay another person's story.

Besides, I have enough on my plate. When I begin to communicate other persons' issues ('stories'), then I often times will assume the associated worry or angst. I don't need that. Right now, there are enough stories that involve me, and taking on someone else's only increases the 'story' burden I'm carrying.

So, Gate #5:  "Is it my story?"

Going to do some yoga today in Coeur d'alene. Need it.

Have a good Thursday,

MY STORY

Many of you reading this blog know little about me, except that I write a blog and that I am an Anusara-Inspired™ yoga instructor.  I read Christina's blog this morning, in which she encouraged us to tell our stories.  Her words on Anusara®:  "I think each one of us is its integrity. I think that each one of us is its majesty. And in my heart I know that each one of us is its future. The stories we tell today about yesterday will shape our present."

My story (so far) goes like this:  

John Friend once described me as one of the “slow movers” of Anusara® (my words for his description of me).  I was not offended; conversely, I took it as a compliment -- because I saw watchfulness in these words.  He continued to explain to the group that I began very slowly to step into Anusara®, and I had steadily continued my studies until I became a very regular and loyal student of his and the practice. 

Step back to 1997, at age 48, when I decided to try yoga.  My husband and I had relocated; my decision not to go back to work left me with loneliness as a frequent companion, and depression visiting frequently.  

He (my husband) suggested yoga; so, I found a studio and took a class.  I returned a week later to take another.  Then, stopped.  Six months later - an even more desperate person (me) returned to try again.  In this class, a different instructor talked about ‘grace’, and her blooming studies in this newer system of hatha yoga.  Golf, running, working out, and skiing had taken their toll, leaving me with tight hips, a rounding back, and sore knees.  Never had ‘grace’ and my name been included in the same sentence.  I was intrigued -- even though today I know the ‘grace’ of which she spoke meant so much more than just physical grace.  

This was my first exposure to Anusara® Yoga.  

As I continued to practice Anusara®, I was told it would be next to impossible to study with John Friend, based on his growing popularity.   Now, I am not the ‘step-out-of-your-comfort-zone’ type of person, but this challenged me.  

I applied to one of the final retreat weeks at Inner Harmony.  I called after a few weeks to check on the status of my application and was told the week I’d applied for was full, but there was space in the week prior.  I accepted the spot -- I was in -- for what, I had not a clue.  

Inner Harmony, at that time, was a wonderful retreat center outside of Cedar City, UT, with space for 60+ workshop attendees, some in shared rooms, some in dormitories, some in yurts and tents.  

On a Sunday in September 2004, I climbed in my car, by myself, and drove approximately 200 miles south of Salt Lake City to Inner Harmony.  Of the 60 people attending this session, I was one of four who had never met John before; and, for me, it was the first time I had ever done anything like this.  

  

Three days into the retreat a family emergency called me back to Salt Lake City.  In the following months, cards and e-mails arrived from many present at Inner Harmony that week, expressing their regret that circumstances required me to leave.  

John’s impression on me was great; the kula’s impression on me was over-the-top.  I applied for the next workshop with him in Tucson (perfect, since my mother-in-law lived there).  At that workshop, two things happened that began to solidify this partnership:  

First, from across a room of 200 people, he called out my name to remind me it was left leg forward in pidgeon, not right.  Imagine my shock -- one, that he would remember me after those few Inner Harmony days, and, two, that from across the room he could see I was off on the legs!

The second happened as I talked to him at the end of class.  I waited my turn, I thanked him and told him of the outpouring of support I had received - to me it spoke volumes about his work to create a community as part of our Anusara® practice.  Then - a mind-searing occurrence.  Someone came up to talk, interrupting us.  He turned to that person, politely asked her to wait, and turned back to me to finish our short conversation.  Wow!  Someone who teaches yoga so well AND listens attentively. 

The label of “slow mover” fits, as it did take me a while to really get into Anusara®.  Not sure why; perhaps because there was a lot to unravel so I could begin this new venture in my life.  

And starting ‘slow’, I believe, contributes to my sticking with it.  Too often, I have rushed in, excited and eager, taking  on too much too quickly.  Only to find interest fizzles.  By starting ‘slow’, I received little delicious tastes that kept enticing me to look for more, to do more.  


Today, I am an Anusara-Inspired™ yoga Instructor, and have been accepted onto the Certification path.  Just like many of our yoga poses -- this experience keeps getting more challenging and more fulfilling. 

Much of my life is not that different today -- same caring husband, same family (plus some new grandchildren), same house, etc.  And, there’s this ‘new’ part; a part filled with many friends from our kula plus new and different memories, goals, aspirations, and yoga.  I must say thank you to that ‘same caring husband’.  And, that I am proud to be called a “slow mover” by John Friend.


So, that's my story (and, I'm sticking with it). As I re-read it, I am filled with gratitude - to my husband, to the fact that I did 'try' yoga, to being able to meet John Friend and the many people at that first retreat -- many of whom are now very good friends, to being part of Anusara®, 'the yoga of yes'.  


Enjoy Wednesday,

HOME AGAIN . . .

As I typed the title for this post, several similar ones came up -- a sign of my life lately. Lots of travel, making me appreciate my previous stay-at-home existence - unless the travel was for fun stuff.

I arrived home, dropped off suitcase, visited with dogs for a bit, then headed to the studio to do the dreaded paperwork.  Each time I leave, I complain that the studio becomes like flypaper -- always something to be done. It was similar last night. Forms had run out, so had to be re-printed; deposits needed to be made; data needed to be entered; and the monthly newsletter needed publishing.  We have tons of new offerings at the studio in August, so an early heads-up was important -- give everyone a few days notice to plan these new classes into their schedules.

Home, again, after 11 pm -- there have not been many studio nights like that one, fortunately.

I also had scheduled a private session which happened sometime between entering data and doing the newsletter.

Love privates.  They give me so much to learn from.  Once someone asked me how I structure a private. Well, there isn't much to structure until you actually meet and get to know the student.  But, here is a brief rundown from last night, which might be helpful to those of you who don't do privates much.

First, is to get to know the student a bit. (If you have ever attended a JF therapy training, one of the first things he does is get to know the person he will work with. Not just their therapeutic issue, but also a bit about their likes, dislikes, activities, etc.) This student has done several classes with me, so I had some knowledge of what the student wanted to work on. The first part of our session was embellishing that history, without seeming too nosey. It's their session, so I will begin by asking them what they would like to work on -- a pose, something therapeutic, whatever. From there, we progress.

Last night, the goal was to work with the after-effects of a whiplash injury.  If you remember, I've mentioned that - in therapeutics trainings with JF (and other Anusara® instructors) - injuries like whiplash cause the muscles to pull away from their underpinnings; leaving them 'blowing in the wind' (how's that for an analogy).  Our instinct is to stretch them, this - we think - will help them heal. The pain makes us think that the muscle is sore because it's tight; so stretching is good, right? Not necessarily.

Stretching may be good, eventually; once we've learned to stabilize the injured area. But first, think about the 'blowing in the wind'; a sail flapping against the mast doesn't do the sailor much good -- a taut sail can handle the wind much more effectively. The answer, then, for these muscles that have been traumatized, is to get them back to their position of security. How? Muscle energy.

Remember, this position of security may not be the most comfortable - it may cause discomfort. I tell students who complain of discomfort that the muscles have been 'flapping' out there and bringing them in to the 'mast' won't necessarily feel wonderful at first. Those muscles are a bit tender to start with, or they wouldn't be doing the private; activating them will naturally be an 'interesting sensation'.

This student complained of right side neck and shoulder blade pain from the whiplash. I reflected on what I've learned. I first just looked - observed what the body was telling me visually. Right shoulder lower than left and moving forward slightly, and neck moving forward; the back was slightly rounded through the thoracic region. So -- side body long, head of arm bones back, shoulder blades secured on back; now, pull ears towards back of room to counter the head and neck thrusting forward. After we adjusted and talked about this (feels weird, right?), I had student lie on floor. Then, press the back of the head into the mat, press elbows into floor and lift shoulders from floor.  Did that a couple times - this will strengthen the back of neck and shoulder blade muscles. I decided some restorative might help; placed a thin roll just below armpits and asked student to simply lie over it for a couple minutes as we talked. Moved off the roll, and had student replicate the posture instructions, securing shoulder blades on the back. We did some hip stuff as student lay on the floor. I find that if we just work on the one spot of complaint, we can overdo it; so, distraction.

As I re-read this, I remembered how interesting it is that students often do not realize one shoulder is lower and sometimes won't believe it. Ahhh, the power of mirrors. This student was worried that other people might have noticed the slight lopsidedness, reassured when told that I had to look closely and carefully to notice these things.

During the hip stuff, the neck pain returned - especially when reaching the right arm across to grab the opposite leg in supta padangusthasana.  What happened?  Student released the ME in the shoulder blade, stretched that poor muscle, which - in turn- pulled on the neck muscles. I repeatedly asked the student to notice, because this is one of the great things yoga teaches us -- awareness. If this student notices what feels good and secure (if a bit uncomfortable) vs. what is painful, then discerning choices can be made. And I know this student will do the 'homework'.

After the hip work, we worked with the breath a bit (there's some anxiety mixed with all this, and we've discovered - student and I - that the breath is having a positive affect). Finally, savasana.

So, there you have it -- my structure for this private (observe, discuss, move, distract, address other associated complaints). Granted, not your typical private. But, what private is typical? People usually don't drop money for a private unless there is an issue. As I explained to the student last night -- it's similar to doing a puzzle, figuring out which pieces go where - what's the best fit. The body, then, grasps that and, if the work is done, improvement (aka 'magic') happens.

Gotta love it.

Enjoy your Tuesday,

CARSON'S ARRIVAL . . .

My fifth grandson, Carson, arrived unexpectedly Friday night. He is a bit premature (4 weeks), which I wouldn't have thought too much about.  Unfortunately, his lungs are not as developed as his outer body, so he is being helped to breathe and given a bit of support in this first period of his life.

After a few hours of phone calls, I flew to San Diego to support my son and his family as much as I could. Lots of people in their life, but another one (including your Mom), never hurts.  I arrived Saturday early evening. Got updates, visited, settled in; an early morning wake-up on Sunday, brought the news that they were transferring baby to a more advanced facility with a specific ventilator to help him.

After 36 hours, he is still giving them 'fits and starts' - perhaps an advance notice of his personality?  We can hope that's it.  Nurses and doctors say "it won't be easy, hills and valleys, but he ought to be fine; with no residual effects from this".  That's encouraging -- just what two parents who have 2 healthy youngsters at home and have never dealt with this kind of an issue, need to hear.

Life throws us challenges when we least expect them.  They teach us how to grow, act and react gracefully.  I'm not happy that this happened, but I know that Carson is teaching them a lesson -- a lesson in patience, a lesson is resilience, a lesson in love.  I could go on -- he is teaching them so much that they have never been exposed to. Who knew that someone so young could impart such valuable lessons.

I don't like to have my newest Grandson teaching these lessons; I'd rather he be a healthy, bawling baby boy. But, we take the not-so-good and work with it. Always learning.

On my way back to SLC as I write -- just waiting for the plane.  A short visit. Once the crowd around them thins, I'll return and help as best I can.

I missed you, but I hope this entry explains my absence for a couple days.

Enjoy Monday,

FRIDAY, FRIDAY, FRIDAY . . .

I have forgotten or been 'too busy' for two weeks. This morning I am not going to forget or be sidetracked from my 'notes'.  Let's not waste any time:

1. CONGRATULATIONS to Tiffany Wood.  Officially a Certified Anusara® Yoga Instructor. No more needs to be said. But, I will say more. Those of us who have studied, practiced, and are moving towards Certification know how much work and dedication is involved in this process. It's a HUGE accomplishment and one that Tiffany ought to be standing on rooftops and shouting out to the whole Universe -- or, maybe she is; I just can't see her right now.  
2. The Anusara world is a-buzz over the 5-page spread in the NY Times, compiled from an interview with John Friend and research on Anusara® Yoga. I skimmed the article when I got home late last night. Will go back and read it again more thoroughly. I enjoyed what I read - a good article that 'seemed' objective and brings more attention to this wonderful style of hatha yoga. From the sounds of Facebook entries, the article ruffled some feathers. I won't (and may not ever) comment much more -- I know that Anusara® is my yoga. It has brought immeasurable personal growth to my life. Whether JF is or can be demanding is not my business - unless it directly affects me; but, having worked for successful people in my life -- I understand. You are NOT effective at what you do and bring to the world, sitting back saying 'sweet' or 'nice'; you have to work hard and tread on some toes at times. Enough. (The Yoga Mogul - John Friend, Creator of the Anusara School - NYTimes.com)
3. On readership: I was excited and proud to receive a comment from a reader from Australia (is it good yogic form to be 'proud'? I say 'yes', if it's life-affirming). I remember being happy when someone from New Jersey popped up one day -- Australia is a lot farther away; but, I'm finding, in this Anusara® world, very close.  Thank you, all, for reading and for writing. I did some 'research' on this reader, found that she just started a blog. I read the first entries and find good stuff; I especially like some of the analogies used. Her blog:  http://findingcurrents.blogspot.com. 
4. All classes are interesting - I could write a blog entry about each; about the students, about what I taught, about how that teaching was received. Yesterday's YogaHour was no different. All new-to-me students (as in, they'd done yoga before, but only one had been to one class with me before). They were all relatively new to Anusara®. That was kind of a first - since I began the class, I've always had one or two 'regulars' in attendance. Not complaining, just describing. These kinds of classes are good for me to go back to my default class - moving through the modifications of vascisthasana. Why? Because I am able to teach without having to 'think' too much, which leaves me able to observe more effectively. Not sure if that makes sense. But, with a new group, being able to teach a well-practiced sequence allows my thought processes to be more with them, and less on "ok, what pose do I teach next".
5. Going to open one of my notes binders and try to see what pops up on the first page I turn to. Here goes: (Truth be told, I had to turn the page to get this one - one I have been working on recently.) 'When teaching a large group or class, distinguish between a universal instruction (one that all students embrace) and a personal modification.  Personal modifications ought to be addressed softly only to the person needing the enhancement.' 

• I think, upon reading, this sounds pretty clear. No matter how nicely we 'couch' it, a shout-out to the class (i.e. "Good extension, Sally; now take your gaze to the lifted arm.") may be received as a criticism. Better to offer the compliment, then move to 'Sally' and ask her to lift her gaze.  This has been tough for me to get into my teaching; but, I noticed (upon review of those 'handy-dandy' videos) that it is happening.  
• And, I may, on occasion, give an enhancement that applies to 2 or more people, and - in those cases - I do say it to the entire group and attempt to make eye contact with the ones needing it most. What happens? They get it, and the others in the class get bigger and brighter. Everyone can benefit from a 'secure your shoulder blades and lift your heart' once in a while.  

It's a holiday weekend here in Utah - Pioneer Day Celebration. (This is celebration of the day the Mormons entered the Salt Lake Valley and proclaimed "This is the place".) Interesting that it's almost a bigger celebration than the 4th of July. For the studio, no change in class schedules. For me, a couple of sleepless nights -- our dogs and fireworks do not mix. 

On the slate for today:  

Gentle Yoga at 10 am at The Yoga Center

Some practice, some errands, some housework

Another hair appointment at 4 (we cut it yesterday - oh, it's short; we are going to liven the color up today -- the grey is nice, but a bit straw-like on me; need to do something)

Hope your Friday is a good one, 

MY REBEL'S EXPERIENCE

We all have one - a person in our lives who resists convention and, even, caution at times.

Mine is a woman I've come to know through my teaching. She arrived in my class 3 years ago, seemingly healthy yet struggling with balance issues. From the start, she displayed a fiery demeanor - determined and dedicated to bring physical balance back to her body.

Ultimately, it was found that a complex and unusual condition was causing the balance issue. According to this diagnosis, no amount of yoga will improve the balance.

By the time she received the diagnosis, yoga had become an integral part of her life; an important element in her routine and she continues coming to class. We experience tumbles occasionally. This does not stop her. She continues to come to yoga and we continue to learn - she and I - what we can and can't do.

So, what about the rebel? Yesterday, I took attendees in the Gentle Yoga class to the wall with their mats, chairs and blocks. I'd been reading a book (dangerous) and had some new ideas for doing poses using the wall. One was to stand perpendicular to the wall, wide-stanced, with a block against the wall. Then place the foot closest to the wall on the block and move into Warrior II. The block is meant to equalize the pelvis level (I think is also gets students further into the bent knee). The idea came from "Yoga for Osteoporosis".

This version of a pose is probably not the best for someone challenged by their balance. Yet, as I taught the pose, I was surprised (and pleased) to see this student giving it her best effort - and, doing it excellently, despite my suggestion she take the easier route and skip the block.

Students continue to amaze me - students struggling with issues/conditions and the students who arrive with no apparent limitations. In our conservative neighborhood (close to The Yoga Center), it is not the easiest thing to take the path less traveled and attend a yoga class.  Imagine, the new student walking into my studio:

1. Review the schedule and decide which class to take (what's Anusara®?, what's vinyasa?, which class suits me best? etc., etc., etc.). ((More validation for answering the phone, answering these questions in person.))
2. Walk in the door (it took me three passes before I'd walk in the door - true story)
3. Remove the shoes (what? take my shoes and socks off? I attended 3 classes before taking my socks off - another true, embarrassing story)
4. Walk up a long flight of stairs to ???
5. Look into a big room occupied with some funny looking statues, some wall hangings, and a ton of blankets, big oval fabric tubes (bolsters), blocks, straps, etc.  
6. Fill out a registration form, sign in, and pay money (for what? what do we do in yoga?)
7. Get a mat, get some blankets, a block, a strap -- now, line them up:  facing a certain direction, in line with the rest, props neatly arranged (what, again, are props? and what will we use them for?)

Quite a bit to do before the instructor arrives and begins to explain this whole yoga thing. Lots of hurdles to cross and hoops to jump through. So much easier to just take a walk (we know what to expect on a walk), or just stay on the couch.  

I appreciate that each of the students coming to classes makes this journey, and makes a choice to 'stay in the room'.  And, I love the rebels.  

Today's Plan:  

Haircut (yeah!)

Teach YogaHour at 4 pm

Have a good day,

A HOPEFUL DREAM

One of the two things about my asana practice that continues to escape me is handstand at the wall. In Tiffany's class the other night, we did it. My first thought, as she asked us to take our mats to the wall was "oh, no, not this".

First, tho, we did 'L' pose at the wall. That goes fine, for me. She then asked me to help with a demo (more 'oh, no' thoughts). As she completed her request, she quietly whispered "I'll walk you up". See, it's not that I can't do handstand or that I'm afraid to go upside down. It's that kicking part. And, Tiffany knows that; so, she wisely assured me and we went forward with a successful demo.

Even as I write this, I'm holding a vision of being able to do the kicking; yet, feeling that if I went to a wall, it would look more like a donkey kick than a handstand kick. I believe I have truly set up a mental block for myself on this particular pose.

Each time someone says - this will help your kick to the wall - I grasp at it for dear life. I hold that thought, try to do the action. Hasn't clicked yet.

The truly frustrating part of all this is watching a newer-to-yoga student kick lightly up. And, they don't have to be younger, more fit, smarter -- many (most) people can kick up. I haven't done it yet. I can kick up in the middle of the room with a partner, and I can have my leg 'walked up'. Just don't put me at a wall and say 'kick up'.

This whole 'kicking to the wall' does become an issue, when you read repeatedly in Anusara® workshop literature that one of the requirements for participation is 'you must be able to kick up to the wall in handstand without assistance'. Now that's a barrier, a wall - one I would love to argue someone about, just not sure who to take it to. Why, when a person can do any number of more challenging poses, are they discouraged from participating due to their lack of prowess in 'kicking to the wall'.  

I'm sure there is a very valid reason and probably one I don't want to hear as I linger in this 'poor me' state - but, it does cause me to wonder.  

So, what do I do to solve the problem?  I practice, I buy videos (Betsy Downing's is a good one), I've done privates (Adam has some pretty funny videos of my trying to kick up), I visualize, I dream.  I haven't given up.

In fact, last night's dream was about just that -- kicking to the wall. Can't remember the specifics, like who was helping me. But, whoever it was, took me farther towards success than anyone has yet.  I even remember that moment that legs reached over my head (very similar feeling to the real-life moment I kicked to the wall in headstand - first teacher training with Desiree Rumbaugh). This morning I awoke more hopeful. Going to try to get to the studio a bit early, move and give it a try. 

I'll be sure to keep you posted if it works; if not, well silence will tell the story.  

p.s. FYI, I am making progress on the second 'asana issue'.

Today's schedule:

• Teaching Gentle Yoga at 10 am
• Lunch with Howard (we're officially on diets - videos and photos don't lie, time to drop some weight!)
• To the bank with paperwork to finalize a re-fi on the Idaho house (great interest rates can't be ignored)
• Subbing for Isabelle tonight - Restorative Yoga at 7:15 pm; tho, she calls it "Bliss". Which it is.

I added a new feature to this blog - the ability to quickly share the post with your friends and neighbors. Though, I'm not sure that this is the blog I want shared 'around the world'. All my foibles and flaws hung out for the world to see. Oh, well.  

Another warm day predicted; stay cool, everyone, 

SHOULDER BLADES . . .

She did it again -- another great class with an ah-ha moment. I'm talking about Tiffany and her work in yesterday morning's class with shoulder blades.

It is so good for me to go to classes. I remember once appearing in a class, only to have the student on the mat next to me exclaim "I didn't know yoga teachers go to class! I've never seen one in class before." I guess some of us may just be 'too busy' to go to class, but there is SO much to learn and observe in the class taught by someone else.  For example:

1. Observation at the beginning
1. How is the room set up
2. How are people welcomed
3. How are new students addressed and queried about their background
4. All of these things set us up to assume the 'seat of the teacher' with more confidence, awareness, and authority.  
2. Opening story/intro and chant
1. How is heart quality expressed and the groundwork laid for cultivating it throughout the class.
2. I am always amazed at how the chant is done a bit differently by everyone, but the affect on me is always the same -- to leave me feeling calm and ready to enter this practice. 
3. Warm-up
1. What movements are used
2. How is theme woven, even into the simple warm-ups
4. Active sequence
1. What is sequence, what is apex
2. I am continually impressed with the language used - so good for me to hear as I try to improve my own.  
5. General observations in class
1. Use of props
2. Anecdote usage
3. Humor
4. Connection with students
5. How are injuries addressed
6. Closing
1. How theme and its connection to yoga/Anusara philosophy is expressed at the end of class

Yes, I observed all this in class yesterday and I learned a lot; yet, it didn't detract from the great yoga I was experiencing. As Tiffany opened the class, she became a bit emotional about the story she was relating - I found some tears in my eyes at the end of the chant, as well. 

From that point forward, we moved through the class easily and Tiff was clearly in command of both instructions and languaging.  Demos were clear. I received a bit of heart melting and shoulder blade instruction that made my upper back feel amazing and stronger. I left feeling good. Thank you, Tiffany.  

So glad I went; and, I was able to connect with some yoga friends -- always fun.  

The remainder of the day went about as planned -- errands, video in mail to Sundari, a bit of paperwork at the studio, then home.  

Today?  

Teaching Level 1 at 10 am at The Yoga Center

Teaching YogaHour at 4 pm at The Yoga Center

Inbetween?  We'll see.  (paperwork?)

Have a nice Tuesday & stay cool,  

VIDEOS

Ah, videos. Gotta love 'em. Can't hate 'em. They're a part of my life now. Just keep plugging along. Spoken like someone striving to become a Certified Anusara® yoga instructor.

On Sunday, I finally got to the videos on my camera - reviewed them, decided that one has potential. Then the fun began. Figure out how to save the video to the computer. Then process it (get it ready to go to the DVD), then burn it to the DVD. My computer does this, but I worry each time -- it just sits on the dining room table chugging (actually, it's humming) along for hours. It takes 3 hours to burn the 1.5 hour DVD (plus the 3+ hours spent reviewing, saving, processing). All the while, I'm praying that we don't have an interruption in power (possible with all the air conditioners running in the neighborhood on these hot days).

This is the first time I've done this whole process by myself - the last being 2 months ago, at the Apple store, and my memory had surprisingly not entirely failed me.  Some things looked a bit different during the process, but I think I have a DVD out of it all.  Hoo-Ray!

One of the difficult things about this process, for me, is watching the DVD.  I don't enjoy hearing my voice and I am super critical of my appearance (posture, physique). That means I need to get past those two things to see the good stuff and the not-so-good stuff about the teaching being offered.

I'll now send this DVD to Sundari with a note outlining the positives and the not-so-positives, from my perspective.  I'll wait and soon I'll get a call. Her feedback is so important, yet it has not always been easy to hear. Accepting feedback is one of those 'side' skills we learn as we travel this path.

Once a friend asked me to give feedback after taking their class. I tried to do as my mentor does -- offer the good and then offer some suggestions for improvement. (BTW, even offering feedback is tough, I found.) To each point I made, this instructor had a reason, a rationalization. What was meant to be a learning experience (for both of us) turned into a debate (a nice debate, but a debate nonetheless).

I learned a good lesson from being in that situation. That accepting feedback is simply that, accepting. Listen, absorb, accept. Don't argue, don't rationalize, don't make excuses. Accept.

I do feel good about this video. As Christina Sell says, we juggle a lot of balls in the air when we teach Anusara® yoga. Theme, heart quality, sequence, the alignment principle we are working with, languaging, moving around the room, modifying where needed -- all this and more as we teach one 90-minute yoga class. To do all that and capture it on a video is tough, but I see improvement on each one I do.

What was the most remarkable thing I saw on this video? I moved through the room, offering suggestions and help to students (and positive feedback), where needed -- throughout the class.

What still needs work?  Carrying the theme through the class. I did o.k. for the first 45 minutes, then got a bit technical, going back to the theme less and less after than magic middle point.

I am happy, tho, despite the 'still needs work' part -- I saw more positives than negatives; a good thing.

Today's Plan: 
Appointment for routine medical exam
Tiffany teaches at 10 and at 5:30 -- if I don't make it to the 10; then 5:30, here I come
Errands - get the video in the mail!

Have a great Monday,

STARTING OVER (on the blog post, that is) . . .

Some mornings, thoughts are just not evolved enough to write about. Therefore, I'm starting over on this blog post -- I realized upon trying to write earlier, there were just too many distractions to give it my full attention. I'll just keep it simple this morning.

Yesterday's class turned into a 'keep it low and slow' type of experience. Very hot here (as I understand it is through much of the country); and my swamp cooler (I believe) is not working as powerfully as it has in the past. Maybe it's just that it's also a bit humid and that affects swamp cooler performance, I've been told.  So, a class on refinement ensued.

We started in child's pose and kept returning to it. Inbetween, there were some forays into shifting chaturanga dandasana -- from hips dropping first, to hips & heart reaching the floor at the same time; with shoulders at elbow height. The transition, then, to bujangasana becomes more easeful. Of all the poses done, that was probably one of the most transformative.

When standing (or sitting) I encouraged the "hanger" alignment for the shoulders. Imagine the shape of a clothes hanger (extended triangle). For many students, the shoulders follow the shape of that umbrella -- imagine the neck as the hanger hook, the shoulders as the downward sloping topside of the hanger. These, interestingly, are also students who comment that their necks are tight or sore.  Maybe their neck and shoulder muscles are getting extended a bit too much? Ya think?

Flip that hanger (lift the shoulders, using the side body expansion to help create that action, and place shoulder blades firmly on the back -- then expand out), insert skull loop, and voila! neck tension releases.

After our shoulder and chaturanga work, I moved the class to the floor and some restorative poses followed.

The remaining day, for me, was relatively low and slow, as well.  A brief trip to the Farmer's Market - which was crowded and hot. Then a good lunch with my husband at an un-airconditioned Mexican restaurant. Onward to do some grocery shopping, then home.

Today?  A movie, some housework - cleaning & sorting, laundry. Get ready for a busy week, and get it done before the hot afternoon sets in.

Hope you have a good day & stay cool,

PATIENCE

Long-time readers are now thinking - what, another word game like the birthday countdown? As I looked back at previous posts, each one since Tuesday has contained a word (or two) beginning with the letter 'P'. Totally unintentional, I promise (oh, another 'p' word). She must have the dictionary handy.

I received a call from a friend asking for information about Christina Sell's on-line mentoring course. My response was long and enthusiastic, and - as I explained to her - the course gave me the 'keys to the kingdom'. Of course, I still have to turn the key and push the door open, but the course was all great for me.  Why write this here? Because one of the gifts Christina gave me in that course was a re-awakening of my love for the dictionary and the thesaurus.

When I want to escape my 'parrot words' (words I over-use as I teach), I go to the dictionary and thesaurus. When I am looking for alternative words for my heart quality (i.e compassion), I go to the dictionary and thesaurus. When I am looking for antonyms to my heart quality (i.e. indifference, cruelty), I go to the dictionary or thesaurus. This last use refers to a previous post, where I noted that JF teaches that to effectively use a heart quality in a class, we need to know it's opposite.

And, when I am looking for words to use in place of the usual 'allow', 'bring', 'take', etc., I go to the dictionary.  For example here's some ideas for the word 'bring', as in 'bring your left leg forward':

   Bring:  cause, guide, lead, shepherd, move, shift (there are others, but some just wouldn't work)

So, an alternative sentence might look like this: 'as you inhale, shift your left leg forward'.  A pretty simplistic example, but you get the picture.

Now, about patience. I found myself losing it (patience) last night. Making some arrangements via phone, which required the person helping me to guide me through computer 'steps'. She did nothing wrong. She was just not aware of the 'steps' needed, so had to repeatedly go and ask - leaving me on hold for minutes at a time. I was tired. I was impatient. What I noticed is that I noticed. Huh?

I noticed that I was becoming impatient. I stepped back from the emotion long enough to evaluate her attempt to be helpful, accepted that she had done nothing wrong - just was trying to be helpful. My temptation throughout the call was to hang up, try it again today when I wasn't quite so tired. My decision? To stick it out. She was, after all, trying. We got it done. I'm glad I didn't react angrily due to my lack of patience. I'm glad I noticed. That's all I have to say about 'patience - tolerance, restraint, eqanimity, calm'.

Totally forgot about 'notes' day. Bummer! Here's an abbreviated version:

1. Taught some fun and challenging classes during the week. Classes and students that are bringing out the inquisitiveness in my teaching - as in, what can I do to give so-and-so the best, most beneficial experience. That applies to everyone -- the student struggling with physical/emotional issues and the student who is able to easily move through a more advanced level of practice.  
2. Looking forward to Park City and JF's Immersion 3 plus weekend workshop. In preparation, I'm logging some good hours of practice. 
3. Just went back to re-read some notes I've taken, in order to offer a 'tip'. Found lots of validation for my post yesterday - using modifications with an awareness that it is a modification, a stepping stone to a fuller expression.
4. I also read something that triggered my memory of an issue I deal with in almost every class. In teaching, I have tended to be pretty technical - giving specific instructions all along the way. One example is moving from uttanasana to tadasana - "place hands on hips, shoulder blades on back, lift chin and heart, hinge at your hips to come to standing". So specific that when I ask them to simply 'come to standing', there's this moment of hesitation and unknowing -- a sign of too much dependency on my instruction. I guess I've said what that means -- students are too dependent on hearing exactly what to do. My job? To speak less -- take them through the movement with the specifics once, then begin to pare down the verbiage. Fewer words will allow students to work somewhat independently. I, also, will not be running on auto pilot and will spend my time more effectively observing what is happening in the room.  

Well, got to work on this morning's class -- 9 am Level 1 at The Yoga Center.  

Have a nice Saturday,

PROGRESS

For someone who teaches yoga, I have the tightest hips, hamstrings & shoulders; so tight that I often despair. Discouragement is a nasty emotion - it eats right at the core of my self-confidence, making me feel a bit 'less than'. Over the years of being the 'older & stiffer student' in the room, I suppose I've learned to work with the emotion, to diffuse it a bit.

The other day, I was finishing a class and one of the new-to-me (and yoga) students lingered to ask some questions. He was concerned that he wasn't able to fold in paschimottanasana as well as some. (This person, for being newer, has beautiful potential - very body aware and very wholeheartedly approaching this practice.) I explained that some poses, in particular forward folds while seated, are more technical and require a bit (or a lot) of patience.

As we continued to talk, he also expressed concern about modifications - his desire, 'to do it right - the first time'. Well, my view on modifications goes like this: We modify, so that when when we are ready  for (or asked to do) the fuller expression of the pose, we've had some time to explore the finer points of each pose. Therefore, in my class, we use walls, blocks, straps, etc. Never as a replacement, but as a stepping stone in the progression to the asana we're working on. And, I make sure students understand that - that the prop is not a replacement, just a helping hand on our journey.

For example, tree pose (vrksasana): many arrive in class, do the pose with their foot on their calf. That's o.k., however after doing it that way for too long they may forget that the fuller, more satisfying and stronger form is with the foot in the opposite thigh. I rarely introduce tree pose with the foot-in-calf alternative -- I will always ask students to 'get it up there' (the foot). Once we see where that goes, we may modify back to calf; but the goal of foot in thigh is still out there waiting.

I also went on to confess that, when I know it is going to be a tough class -- lots of arm work, lots of strength work, etc., -- I will modify my chaturanga dandasanas to the knees, maybe every 2nd or 3rd time. Reserving strength throughout the practice. I thought he might understand, since one of his opening comments to me was "I'm not sure about this, after all I'm 58." But, no - his comment: "Oh, you slough." An innocuous comment, but it caused a bit of bristling (in me). One I've thought about a lot in the last couple days.

Personally, I can rationalize this modification for myself -- I can use age and shoulder tenderness as very valid reasons to modify. Do I slough, though? I'm still thinking 'no'. I am doing the best I can with the body I have, and one thing my teachers might say about me is that I do (or attempt to do) everything -- it may not be 'pretty', but there is an attempt. Need to think about that more. Do I slough?

I began this post to talk about progress. I make progress by allowing my body to explore poses and sometimes that exploration happens more effectively if I cut myself a bit of slack (use a prop), and then discard the prop and 'voila!' progress. Yesterday's YogaHour class worked on krounchasana. Without warming up, I was able to demo the pose for them. My back was straighter, my leg closer to my face, and my hands were holding my foot, my elbows were even bent slightly. I've always used a strap - until Tiffany's class on Wednesday. Now, that's progress.

Had to take a moment, have everyone sit, so I could calm my heart rate (excited). Bent elbows! Straighter back! Holding foot with my own hands! Straight extended knee! Face closer to leg! Purna!

Today's Plan:
Gentle Yoga at 10 am at The Yoga Center
Then 'no-plan' plan (taking it easy, maybe do some reading, plan tomorrow's class, review the videos on my camera -- lots of things I can slip into the 'no-plan' plan)

Have a great Friday,

JUST AS I PLANNED . . .

Yesterday, that is.  In preparation to write an entry, I will usually go back to read the previous day's post -- kind of remind myself of any commitments I made, promises to be kept, or outrageous statements. In that post, I listed my major activities for the day as 'teaching Gentle Yoga' and 'attending Tiffany's class'.

So I'm pleased that I stuck with the 'schedule'.

Gentle Yoga happened as planned with some new faces in the room.  That's always fun and challenging. Many of these students arrive as new-to-yoga, with injuries, and/or struggling with some kind of issue. In addition to teaching them yoga, it's important that I get to know them very well -- what the issue/injury is, how they deal with it daily, how much can they handle in a class, their level of commitment, what treatment they've had (and, if so, is their doctor aware they're coming to this class) and their willingness to 'let go', etc.

By 'let go', I'm going back to something I posted previously about JF's comment that some people absorb their injuries as part of their persona (i.e. "I'm Sally and I have a bad back" -- like that).  To give them work that asks them to give up part of their identity - if they're not ready - is not always going to happen.

In a classroom setting, it isn't easy to play '20 questions' with a new student - for some it's a bit uncomfortable, and for the other students in the room - well, they came for yoga too. So, over the three (or is it four?) years I've taught this particular class, my observation skills have become sharper. I watch for signs of pain, of stress, of displeasure. I also watch for a smile, a glimmer of recognition -- I need to feel good also as we move through the class.

This group, despite their 'stuff', is generous with feedback. We have developed a banter, not common in most yoga classes. This 'banter' is a source of information for me; therefore, I encourage it. The most exciting, for me, is to hear that a student has noticed something about their body that they previously had not felt. One, in particular, comes to mind: the student who (in supta tadasana and with a little help from me) felt their thighs release and ground into the floor. Love it when they notice, they pay attention, and they experience a bit of happiness as a result.

After class, paperwork -- always paperwork. I have a pile of data entry to be done, but I keep procrastinating on that one. If I would just to 10-20 a day, it would go away. Easier said.

Home to do 'home stuff'. Then up to Park City for Tiffany's class. And, what a nice class it was. Tiffany is on her way to Certification (I believe an approved video is in, but no 'official' word yet). She began by openly telling us that she had no plan - honest. Her theme, tho, was clear - how does our yoga practice affect us; how can it change a not-so-good day into a day of awareness and beauty. My interpretation, anyway, and it worked for me.

As we began to move, as her creative juices began to flow, and - I suppose - as she evaluated the skill level in the room, she declared 'we're going to work towards surya yantrasana'. Not one of my favorites, only because my version is not always pretty. After lots of spiral work, hip opening, heart softening, and hamstring warming, we were there; and I was further into the pose than ever before -- actually felt good about it. To top it off, on the way we ventured into krounchasana and that pose was more accessible!  Kudos to Tiffany's no-plan plan -- it worked!

Today's Schedule
Home stuff, errands
Studio stuff, including that ever-present paperwork
YOGA HOUR, 4 pm, at The Yoga Center

Hope you have a thrilling Thursday,

PICK A POSE . . .

First, a word about Paul McCartney - WOW !

Besides a great trip down memory lane, the audience was gifted with great guitar 'jammin', a few fireworks, a bit of banter, and some laughs. A wonderful experience. The best part for me? Experiencing such an icon of world music as he made sure WE had a great time.  Nice.

YogaHour is a fun class to teach, and I have some great students who show up each week (actually twice a week) to take the class. As I scanned the row of students in chaturanga dandasana, I thought "darn, these guys are video-able" (the problem? a one-hour class).

What I did last week and this, was pick a pose as the class focus. Just FYI, when I learned about YogaHour classes, Darren Rhoades explained that each class centers around a word - just one word, and a mini-theme develops around that word. I've tried to do that, not every time is successful.  So, the last couple classes, I picked a pose - shared a picture of the pose, described what we need to do to get to that pose, in the way of warm-up, and we're off. From that pose, I'm able pull a heart quality (word) and use that throughout the class as we work towards the pose.

I guess it's working out like Darren described it. It's just that this approach - picking a pose, then the verbiage, seems to work better for me. It gives me a firm goal to be reached in one hour. And, if everyone isn't to the 'goal', we modify.

Yesterday, we worked towards bird of paradise (svarga dvijasana). Everyone got the wrap, and everyone stood up in the pose. Interesting (and enlightening) that when I encourage people to take their time, pause to re-group along the entry to the pose, it appears to be more accessible. Faster is not always better.

A side note on a challenge - the student who travels their own path. I have one. This student will arrive in class and do their own practice, if what I'm asking is not to their liking(?). In a recent class, we all stayed in sync until student popped up to shoulderstand (without any blankets and with a VERY flat neck). Instead of ignoring this diversion off my planned path, as I've done in the past, I directed student to come out right away. Then asked everyone to grab their blanket, set up for shoulderstand in the 'healthier' manner, allowing space for the cervical spine, and everyone did it.

I suppose I could say I 're-claimed' my seat in this situation. Shoulderstand wasn't in my thought process, so it was a compromise of sorts. I do think we (this student and I) are on the path to understanding my role as instructor (guide) and their role in a class (passenger following instructions; instructions meant to help and keep them safe).

As I write, I think - what if student reads this? Well, hopefully (after a bit of defensive reaction), they will understand.

Schedule Today:
Gentle Yoga at 10 am at The Yoga Center
Plan to attend Tiffany's class at The Shop, 5:30 today

Enjoy your Wednesday,

SIR PAUL - Here We Come

My husband and I rarely 'do' concerts.  This year is an exception. We sponsored a local outdoor concert series just so we could easily access tickets to some great names. Then, here comes Paul McCartney. As you read yesterday, those tickets were bought HOT off the presses. Tonight's the night. Lots of expectations, but just seeing him will be like moving to some challenging yoga pose, finally and successfully.  More on this tomorrow!

I attended a class this past weekend while visiting Grandsons (I am a dedicated grandmother, but there has to be some time for yoga.). Usually I try to attend a specific instructor's classes; timing didn't allow that, so I decided to go for another Anusara-Inspired™ class. In order for me to do that (attend an unknown-to-me instructor's class), I have to put all my expectations and other-than-basic knowledge into my back pocket and ZIP it shut tightly. Then, out of the other pocket, I pull my 'beginner mind'.

It was a very nice class; taught with a genuine care for the students attending. And, I left feeling better about myself -- mission accomplished (by instructor and myself).

It is true that we become more aware of our tendencies when we practice -- as in, I caught my judgmental self trying to come forward a couple times. Step back, breathe, nothing I was being asked to do was dangerous - just different. Different is good at times. I am able to travel quite a bit, and here are some things I notice about Level 1-2 classes attended in different parts of the country:

1. Chant or no chant (no chant, in this case).
2. Chant either very loud or very soft - depending on instructor; or very fast/very slow; or very high (soprano)/very low (alto). It all depends. It often takes me the first time through to sync up with the group. Sometimes just one verse is chanted; others, the full chant.
3. Then there's the issue of hands in anjali mudra. I have been in classes (not this last one) where the instructor, trying to be politically correct, offered students an option to bring hands to heart center or not. In my classes, especially with the strong church ties here in Utah, I will often explain that hands at heart center will be called 'prayer' position by some (which it does look like); more accurately, it is the mudra of offering. Who objects to 'offering' an intention? Besides, I remember JF being very explicit this past Feb., in San Francisco, about this being a spiritual practice and that we do believe in something -- we may call it something different from our neighbor, but it's there, and we must be able to acknowledge it.  
4. As I move through the Certification process, I look for the elements - got to admit it; I am checking out whether and how other instructors are handling 'all the balls in the air'. I catch my thought process wandering to 'did he/she get a reference to philosophical connection in there?'; 'do I know what the heart quality is?'; like that. Sometimes a bit distracting, but I think it teaches me to be more aware when I am taking or teaching a class.
5. I will always make note of the things done effectively (more so than when I do a similar thing). It's just the smart thing to do; not stealing, just 'borrowing' and contemplating until I can massage it into my own version.  
6. Sequences differ; but that happens even in our own community. 

The point of this exercise? To dispel any misconceptions that every 1-2 class will be done in the same way. There will be differences; so long as I walk into a studio able to accept different, I'll be in good stead.  

On another matter. I've been trying to impress on students the importance of doing each pose as carefully and mindfully as possible. Every pose. What does that mean for my students? Lately - repeated uttanasanas -  lots of practice going into and out of the pose. I think it is very easy to forget that these transitional movements are poses - they require the same attention as the more challenging poses. My goal is to impress that if ALL poses are done with attention to the UPA's; as students progress, the more advanced poses will benefit from this 'care and feeding'.  Each pose benefits from this added attention to detail - even if it is just lifting the chin away from the chest as one rises from uttanasana back to tadasana.  

Today's schedule:  

New class today - Level 1 at 10 am at The Yoga Center.  Love seeing new faces.  

YogaHour at 4 pm at The Yoga Center. 

Hope you have a nice Tuesday,

GROWING UP . . .

I spent a great weekend with Grandsons Jack & Brady (and their parents). They are SO growing up; and we'll have a 3rd (name to be Carson) the next time I see them.

Jack (who you see in the picture with me), is almost 4 (or at least he will be 4 in November). He still has the blonde hair, is still cute and is smart as a whip (a Grandmother's perspective, but true nevertheless).  He's riding a 2-wheel bike now - with training wheels - and shows little fear of speed. I'll bet those training wheels are gone very soon. He's also playing board games - Grandma Leslie got lots of "CandyLand" time in; and she really dislikes games. It is fun to watch them grow and learn right before your eyes. Take "CandyLand" as an example. Day one, I said 'draw a card'. The response - 'we don't draw cards' (as in artwork drawing). Very literal thinker. Day two, 'draw a card' had an additional meaning and he was using it with this second meaning.

Brady is almost 2, as blonde as his brother, a pleaser when in the mood; cute and smart, as well. Both he and Jack are taking swimming lessons, and I was able to watch the lesson. The instructor stood him on the side of the pool, maneuvered his body position into position for a 'race dive', and asked him to jump - which he did. I believe this was the first time he had been asked to do this position. The second time she set him up on the side of the pool, there was no need for instruction - he just assumed the position and, on cue, dove into the pool.  Wow! Grandma 'Essie' was impressed (that's me).

We also had an opportunity to do an 'adult' evening with our son and daughter-in-law; went to see 'Avenue Q', after a great dinner at a restaurant sitting right on the water. Enjoyable and relaxing evening.

All in all, a great weekend.

It will be a great week, as well.  First, I will have the toilets at the studio back to better running order today -- it's not that they don't work, it's that you have to dive into the inner workings to get them to work efficiently. I know that's not everyone's favorite way to deal with a toilet, but we do what we have to do. Today, however, the repairman comes.

This week I shift back to teaching Tuesday mornings, 10 a.m., Level 1. This will replace the Thursday evening class, which Jen took over for me.

AND, WHAT ELSE HAPPENS ON TUESDAY?   PAUL McCARTNEY !!!  I have always enjoyed the Beatles and Paul's recordings; my husband is an even bigger fan. So, when we heard he was coming to SLC, we were quick on the phone for those tickets.  From what we've heard, he is doing some outstanding and very personable shows.

I am a bit behind the 8-ball on blogging; will be back in form tomorrow - I hope.

Hope you have a nice Monday,

MISSED MY NOTES . . .

I missed my notes day, so Saturday will have to do. I'm enjoying grandsons this weekend, plus a little yoga, so priorities shift a bit.

It was a busy week for me.  Of note:

1.  I made the list of "Anusara®'s Seasoned Bloggers" (or however they phrased it). No matter.  It's nice to be mentioned and be part of the group. We all like to belong, to be acknowledged. I'm no different; so I am flattered to be included.

2.  I signed up for two things this week -- this internet is dangerous (or beneficial), at times.  First, I signed up for one of The Handel Group's on-line seminars, courtesy of Elena Brower. My choice was time management -- would have liked to participate in the 'perfect body' one, but timing didn't fit. Perhaps if the time management one is beneficial, I'll pay for one and continue with the process.

The second thing I enrolled in is the NamasteLight e-mail marketing.  Think a phone call is in order, since I don't exactly understand the process.

3.  In my class last Saturday, I used organic extension as the primary UPA to focus on. What I hoped to transmit to students is that organic extension is not just an upward movement. I often will tell people about the UPA's and when I get to organic extension, I lift my arms -- a bit misleading, because it appears that the extension moves just up.  Not so. Imagine vrksasana - standing on one leg, with the other leg bent and foot pressing into opposite thigh. Muscle energy at work creating a stable and strong foundation. Inner/expanding spiral, then outer/contracting spiral of the legs to further stabilize the pose. Now apply organic extension - do I just lift my arms and reach to the heavens? No, the energy goes down as well as up (from the focal point); rooting me into the source of energy (organic extension).  With poses like Ardha Chandrasana - organic extension roots me into the earth and moves out in all directions whether the hand or foot is supporting me on the floor or extending up or behind our torso.

I find thinking about organic extension in this way makes my poses much stronger.

As I re-read this, I notice I left out 'Open to Grace' -- always present in each pose; offering equanimity and recognizing the source of our strength and our stability.

4.  It's darn hard to write with grandsons running around.  Forgive me for keeping this short.

Hope you have a great Saturday,

ON CHANGE . . .

The big change in my yoga life lately has been a shifting in the classes I'm able to attend. The SLC community is small -- as in 2 Certified and 6 actively teaching Inspired instructors. So, with the 'ceasing of operation' of one studio, I need to look around and shift things a bit. Not easy, but do-able. It also means more discipline in my personal practice.

I found out yesterday just how interesting change is when I apply it to one of my classes. For example, I taught Gentle Yoga (Anusara-Inspired™) in the morning. We usually set the mats up in good Anusara® alignment -- straight across; one or two rows.

Because my goal for the class was to do a number of poses using the wall for support and grounding, I set up a sample mat and prop display. Very professional, Leslie, I thought. Mat perpendicular to the wall, 2 blankets, 1 chair, 2 blocks and 1 strap. I decided, since there are usually 7-8 people in this class, to line everyone with their supply of props in an L-shape along 2 walls. I felt pretty good about the 'prop display' and my plan.

I felt good until students began arriving. The implications of change, it seems, truly can apply to my classes, as well.

Let's just say that not everyone was pleased with the change.

There are students who have a favorite spot to be in the room, there are students who need to be close to a post (balance issues), there are students who are just used to the 'regular' way. I thought I might lose one or two, before we settled down, centered, chanted, then began to move.

When I was a member of a fundraising board for the area mental health agency, I remember attending meetings and purposely changing my position in the room at each meeting. Even there, it seems, people tended to sit in the same chair - or at least the same position at the table - at every meeting, next to their favorite people or away from the line of fire. I decided to change it up a bit (perhaps that was the precursor to this devilish behavior of mine).

What I learned from yesterday's experience is that my students accepted the change after a few minutes, but not without 'fighting the good fight'. It was a test of my resliency, as well. As in, could I hold out to the pressure? Could I stand firm? Could I truly step into and take the 'seat of the teacher'?

They did (fight the good fight), and I did (hold firm). The class proceeded as I planned. Towards the end there were comments that people actually enjoyed it.

The moral of this blog? Not much, except to say that if I want to test my skill as a teacher - one good way is to ask people to shift their regular position in the room.

I remember reading once in The Yoga of Discipline, Gurumayi's thoughts about examining the state of our minds -- that our desires sometimes cloud the spiritual experinces around us. I wouldn't say changing your space in a room is a spiritual experience, necessarily, but I get her point - sometimes we cling to what we know out of a misplaced desire. Renouncing a habit is not easy and not to be done without contemplation; however, letting go is sometimes very good and even more valuable and able to be accepted when understood.

So, once students understood and experienced the reasons for the shift in the room set-up, they were o.k. with it.

It was a test, tho, for them and me.

Have a great Thursday,

ASK FOR HELP

I sometimes stop before I ask for help; thinking that the act of asking may imply a lack of knowledge. (Refer back to a blog several weeks ago.) Lately, tho, I've given up that premise; maybe asking for help is a sign of intelligence, me thinks.

You'll notice, if you look back at yesterday's blog, I got a couple of very nice comments; one that gives me lots to work with as I teach.  I took advantage of the opportunity and the knowledge displayed, to ask that teacher about other issues that have presented in my classes.

Wow! I got a veritable treasure trove of advice and information. All done in a very matter-of-fact manner; none of it reflecting my insecurity of "don't you know that by now?".

After reading the e-mail response, I went to the blog and read the last couple days' entries. Both were full of information. I am always so amazed when blog authors write theme ideas, plans, sequences - so generous. I've never copied or used someone's sequence, but reading others' ideas has caused a few of my own to come to life.

Another post related to a gift she had given a grieving couple and their gift back to her - a testimonial.

This reminded me that we all are offered things at times - even if it is a simple compliment or the words 'thank you'. What is challenging for me - at times - is accepting those gifts. Many times, my tendency is to receive a 'thank you' or a compliment with the response 'it was just something . . . '.  Think about that for a moment -- if it was 'just something. . .' then what or why are they thanking or complimenting me? I just negated their effort to give me a gift of appreciation.

I get so into the 'giving' mode, that I forget that 'accepting' sometimes goes hand in hand with 'giving'.

On another matter, I got a call last night from a person wanting to start yoga. She asked a number of questions and finished with the 'closer' - "what do you charge for a class, because I'm broke but my doctor said 'do yoga'". Well, how do you handle that one? If it hadn't been for the blunt honesty, I might have reacted differently. We came to an agreement; now we'll see if she shows for a class. A bit of yoga 'pro bono' in action. (This goes hand in hand with my old fundraising mantra "if you don't ask, you don't get".)

I usually try not to preach here; try to keep everything from the "I" or "me" perspective.  But, I am stepping off that platform with a subtle hint to studio owners reading this -- ANSWER YOUR PHONES (OR, AT LEAST, RETURN YOUR CALL MESSAGES)  When I bought the studio 7 years ago, I made a pledge to myself to answer the phones. (Too many times I've traveled, looked for a studio, called that studio - never to get a response.) Since I'm not always in the studio, how do I do that? I forward the land line to my cell. So, I'd estimate I can answer 80% of the calls that way. And I also return calls - most of the time. And, it makes a difference - just last week I had a new student arrive. Her reason for choosing me - the class description sounded appropriate and I ANSWERED THE PHONE. 

On with the day. Hope your Wednesday is a great one.

THE THERAPEUTICS OF YOGA

This week (and this morning, in particular), I was reminded full-force of the power of yoga to help people. And, not just with their physical conditioning; tho, that seems to be the reason most uninjured people start yoga.

During the week, I had several seasoned and newer-to-me students appear in class with injuries or conditions, asking for help.  This morning, I received an e-mail with an attachment to a blog that listed the 101 health benefits of yoga.  If you wish to look at that link, let me know. (I hesitate to link anything that I'm not absolutely sure is not 'infected' with something that will negatively affect our computers.)

I also received an invitation to participate in a local program for people suffering from MS.  This will be the studio's second year at this event; one of the better ones I've participated in. Smaller and more comfortable, and totally geared to the comfort of attendees, first, and presenters, second.

In 2007, I attended my first "Therapy Training" with JF in Cincinnatti. It was fun and it was overflowing with information. At the time, I wondered "where/how am I going to use some of this"? I remember going to dinner with some of the training participants and there, a fellow trainee - more experienced than me, but still a student - remarked "You will be amazed at what happens after these trainings. People begin appearing, asking for you to work with them." I nodded, thinking to myself "no, that won't happen - they go to their doctors".

Three years later, I realize that yes, they do go to their doctors and physical therapists - who often refer them to yoga.  Who knew?  I love it, I think it's smart, but who knew?

What, you might ask, am I seeing? Here's a short list of things people are struggling with:

1. Bad knees, shoulders, backs, ankles, etc. (it is an active population we work with here - hiking, biking, skiing, exercising, etc.). So, lots of alignment -- shins in, thighs out, shoulder loop, expanding spiral & contracting spiral, etc. Sometimes I think of it as a puzzle; trying to figure out what's happening and what will serve the student.
2. Total joint replacements. The newer generation of these is amazing - much more range of motion than some I've seen. One recent incident involved someone who has just not moved her knees much since her surgery(s). There's fear of pain and an uncertainty of just what she is capable of in her mind. A big hurdle to overcome, but do-able.  
3. Pulled muscles. Neck, ribs, legs - you name it, it can be traumatized. I go back to JF's repeated reminder of what happens when a muscle is traumatized - that it pulls away from the supporting structure beneath it. Muscle energy is a good place to start for these injuries; hugging the irritated muscles back into their optimal position. Hard work.  
4. Anxiety. There are many students appearing these days as a result of anxiety. One phone call involved a young man whose friend thought yoga would help, and probably a restorative class. I wonder. I love restorative yoga, but wonder if the slow-moving class, the class where we stay in poses for 3-5-7 minutes, the right class for someone with anxiety issues? I believe 'it depends'. So an inquiry is in order. What happens when this person is asked to sit or lie in a position for that long? In anxiety, there is a fight or flight response of the body - will lying still help with that in everyone? Maybe a class with a pulsation of work - some energetic, some rest - grounding and rooting down as we rotate between activity and rest; like that.
5. Degenerative Diseases. I mentioned MS earlier. The balance work we do in yoga, plus just general movement is very beneficial to the students struggling with degenerative conditions. Participating in a class, participating in life, is a mental boost for these students; and a social connection. Very important, in my mind. 

So, my co-trainee was right; people are arriving for help and there are more. These are just a few. People are looking for help, something that doesn't involve pills, that gets them into good company, an activity that gets them moving. An activity that creates movement and leaves them feeling better about themselves. Yoga?  Yes, yoga!

Feel free to offer your thoughts.  

Enjoy your Tuesday,  

'HOLDING DOWN THE FORT'

Last night, I spent a few minutes scanning Facebook entries -- catching up on peoples' 4th of July plans/celebrations etc.  Came across one from an Anusara-Inspired™ (working towards Certification) teacher from California in which she commented on her passion for Paris.

At first I thought she might be there on vacation. Then, I remembered, JF is in Paris; part of the European tour - before returning in early August to prepare for the rigors of Utah. So, of course, at least I believe, that is why she is in Paris - working and following John on this tour. What fun! What an adventure!  

Somedays, I dream I were in her shoes. Traveling to exotic places, being in good yoga company. Yet, each time I travel to that thought process, there's this other side of me that says 'you are where you are meant to be'. I am first a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a yoga teacher and yoga studio owner, and householder (and, at times, still a child with parents to care for). Lots of people to contemplate and think about, before I jet off to exotic places to do yoga and study.

Fortunately, Utah is on John's schedule each year (fingers crossed), and I can enjoy his teaching when he visits. And, my life allows me to squeeze in a trip or two to study with him (or someone) in some other U.S. location to supplement that experience.

On the one hand, I'm a bit envious; on the other, I reflect on my family, my life and my students, I see the importance for some of us to 'hold down the fort'. To be the example of the teaching he is sharing with the world. I am proud and happy to do that.

Enjoy the remainder of your holiday weekend,

CHALLENGES ...

Yesterday morning, I followed through with the 'challenge' theme. Challenges for those in class -- working through some balance series.

My challenges in class?

1. The camera - always a challenge; hope it filmed, hope it got the whole class (a bit worried that the camera is getting full from all this filming - will take care of that 'worry' this weekend). 
2. Multiple levels of yoga experience in class - newer, experienced, more advanced - the challenge? give everyone a good experience.
3. Different attitudes in class - the challenge? don't be too silly, don't be too serious (me, not them).
4. Cultivate the theme throughout the class - always a challenge, but I find myself moving back to it more often than not; almost surprising myself when it happens.
5. A teacher in the room

Yup, a teacher in the room - Cindy, who is actually teaching more Pilates now but has trained with Sianna Sherman. I've been working closely with Cindy for over a year as she accomplished her Pilates teacher certification. What does that mean when she shows in class? That I was a bit nervous; but, not so much as I thought would happen.  

What is it about peers in the room that cause nervousness? More so, even, than someone who is there to evaluate my teaching (i.e. Sundari)?

The class went fine. I didn't stick exactly to the sequence I had planned, but that seems to be the way. 

Working to get something off that darn video camera this weekend to send to Sundari.  That will be my challenge for the next day or two.

Hope your 4th is safe and happy, 

THE PRACTICE

The Yoga Center hosted its first practice ('THE PRACTICE') yesterday. Jen H., an Anusara-Inspired™ yoga instructor, is leading it each Friday for two hours (5:40-7:40 pm).

This is a new activity for my studio. Offering a practice is commonplace at an Anusara® studio; but, with just 2 Inspired teachers at my studio (for a total of 6 of 22 weekly eclectic hatha classes), I could hardly call my studio full-fledged Anusara®.  That ratio is shifting. This month also sees a shift in the kula of SLC; Jen and I agreed, what better time than now to offer a practice to our community.

It (The Practice) was a nice success - several new faces in the room, plus regulars, and me. We hope that, as word gets out, it will continue to grow; but, even if it stayed as is - we call it a success.

The best part for me? Seeing people in the room; seeing the seeds of a revived community being planted right on my studio floor. Be still my heart!

Second best part? Practicing with friends and some strangers (now friends), laughing, challenging myself, sweating a bit, having fun. (I realize that's five 'parts', but they all fit in the same category of 'fun' to me.)

It was a well-rounded week, then -- I challenged myself in my practice and I was challenged in my teaching. Think I'll use 'challenge' as a theme this morning. Great quote from John via AJ appeared on Facebook this morning, 'the fruit of our great yoga practice is how we think and speak in response to the challenges in our life'. Perfect starting point!

Once I have a starting point, then I go into the 'development' phase - journalling my story, figuring out my apex, what alignment principle and heart quality to focus on, how do I connect it philosophically, and the sequence. I do not have to do it in this order, sometimes the apex comes to me and I start from there. Or, I want to work on a specific UPA. Whatever, the elements must all be there. For me, writing it all down is a good habit to develop, because the video review committee wants to see the sequence in writing along with the video. It also cements it a bit in my mind.

Fireworks last night - restless-shivering-panting dogs, as a result. Not looking forward to this weekend (for that reason). Fireworks and thunder are our dogs' least-best friends. Bought some "Rescue" just for the occasion - it's a highly recommended concoction created from herbs that have a calming effect. There's even "Rescue" for people -- dog and people version all sold in the same section of our local health food store.

Enjoy the day,

NOTES BECAUSE I CAN . . .

It's Friday.  Not sure if it's the upcoming Holiday or what, but my week has seemed all messed up.  As I sit in class, ready to close, I find myself having to count the days -- figuring out what day of the week it is, so that I can give an appropriate sendoff.  Strange.

But, I know it's Friday; the end of most peoples' workweek. So - notes, it is:

1.  It used to be that I taught 3 classes on Thursdays and took a pilates class. Don't need to say that I was a bit tired by the end of a Thursday. Now that Kula has 'ceased to operate', I no longer teach in the morning. I was left with an open morning -- housework, ironing, shredding an accumulation of personal paperwork; then ran a couple errands, and to pilates with Cindy.  I taught YogaHour at 4; nice group - several levels of experience (newer and more experienced). The 3rd class was a Level 1 beginning at 5:45 - I've shifted that to another instructor; so, home for a nice dinner with Howard.

2.  I received the newsletter from John (as did many of you). It was great he took the time to address the worries of some. With all that's been going on in my life, I hadn't had the time to get worried or unsettled; was just going about my business. I picked up some of what he talked about during the phone conversation -- that nothing has changed but the specific naming of the philosophy of Anusara® Yoga. If you didn't participate, you may have heard that through the grapevine, or not.

What I read is that he's traveling, he's studying, he's teaching; the vision of Anusara® Yoga remains the same. Oh, sure, there are a few hula hoops in the picture lately; but, if we stay stagnant and unwelcoming to these new elements - we stand to lose the fun-loving and accepting side of the Anusara® philosophy. Just my thoughts - and, I did buy a hula hoop recently (shades of my past life!).

3.  Reading Facebook and talking to friends, lots of relief that the Immersion acceptance notes for Park City are out and most are in. I've developed a number of long-distance friendships over the past year and many of those people will be at this Immersion - it will be so good to meet them face-to-face.  If you're attending, and looking for accommodations, it might be best to contact The Shop (www.parkcityyoga.com). Also, if you can get a group together, there are probably a number of houses/condos available in Park City available for summer rental. I'm sure 'googling' something will find results leading you to resources. I'll be envious - driving from Salt Lake each day; but, hard to justify staying 20 minutes from home - it is fun to stay at the site of the training.

4.  Reading some un-transcribed notes from one of Noah's workshops. I wrote down "we are always in an asana". It struck me, since I had several therapeutic issues arise this week, plus some common sense things. I believe Noah meant this as a philosophical concept, but I think we can also apply it to the physical as well.

First, students with injuries - falling, over-efforting, etc. - and arriving in class with sore muscles as a result; so sore, that their movement is impeded. I looked in my memory bank and found John's instruction that these injuries commonly cause the muscles to pull away from their positions in the body, and the best thing for these painful muscles is to apply muscle energy, moving the stressed muscles back into place.  It requires work and memory - however, reflecting on an injury, I know that the pain of letting go of that muscle energy is a very good reminder.

Then, the student who stands with feet unparallel - toes turning out (former or current dancers are usually seen standing this way, but many others are prone to do likewise). I take the liberty to tell students why this is unhealthy - it causes the femur head to move slightly out of the hip socket, irritation and ligament stretching results. When I tell students to stand with feet parallel, I inevitably remind them that this should be a practice they cultivate off the mat. I am so subtle, that I noticed as I talked to one student I was staring at her feet -- yup, very subtle and she got the message.

Finally, bunions showed up twice this week in classes. Bunions, I understand are both hereditary and self-created (bad shoes, etc.). Many people choose to take the surgical route, having the bunion removed. I never discourage a student from doing something that they and their physician believe will help. However, I do ask the willing student to pursue some foot massage/manipulation/movement, just to see what happens. For me, my own bunion tendency has been reduced, I believe, by this manipulation. Here's a short routine:

1. Sit in a chair (or on floor, if you are comfortable); cross an energized foot on top of your other knee.
2. Thread fingers of opposite hand (if you've crossed the right foot, you'll be using your left hand) between toes from sole-side of the foot. Grip firmly (this will help reduce any pain in the joints), and move toes gently back & forth.
3. Keep fingers threaded, as you move ankle in a circle several times, first one way then the other; then, point & flex the ankle, 3-4 times.
4. Now, with fingers still between toes, relax their grip, but keep them in there. Squeeze fingers with toes. (Toes are squeezing the fingers.)
5. Remove fingers, and use your thumbtips to massage the sole of the foot; get in there deep.
6. When finished, grip each toe individually and give it a gentle lengthening and a wiggle.
7. Release the cross of your ankle, place the foot on the floor and compare with the un-massaged foot. Wow!
8. Now, do the other foot.

I always notice the spacious feeling in my feet, no matter how often I do this each week.  The movement of the toes and joints will help to reduce inflammation (though it might not be comfortable). Your firm grip on the front of the foot, stabilizing, will help reduce this discomfort.  Ankle circles and flexing will be beneficial to your balance. The massage loosens the fascial layer of the foot. The toe pulls? They're just fun and create space in the joints -- be sure to stabilize especially the painful joints before you do this.  

O.K., that's enough -- got to go teach Gentle Yoga (this foot massage is a part of almost every class). Then the first practice at The Yoga Center - it is now a weekly event, 5:40 each Friday.  

Have a great Friday,

THREE THINGS . . .

There have been times in my life when I did not work outside my home. I might have been called a 'corporate wife'; staying home, taking care of my son, entertaining friends and co-workers of my husband, etc., etc., etc.  Whenever we entertained (as in, had people for dinner), the common question of friends was 'what are you serving?'. My response was 99% of the time, '3 things' -- I would never call myself a great or adventurous chef/cook/whatever. But, I can do '3 things' pretty well (a starch, a protein, and a vegetable). I never counted dessert, but we usually had something.


So, the title of this post, 'three things' returned easily when I considered what I was going to write about.


First of the 'three things' is a thank you to Anusara Yoga West LA and Santa Monica (a Facebook group) for their following and support of this blog. It is so flattering to be reading through Facebook and come upon my latest blog entry re-posted on their page. And the way it was introduced:  "Lost in translation and the latest installment of Leslie's on the way to certification blog! xoxo" is so much fun -- especially the 'on the way to certification' part.  Love it.  So, thank you, again.


Second, I had a good and long chat with Sundari yesterday. I am so appreciative of her as a friend and mentor - she is truly exemplifying the manner in which I hope to act and be treated. She is creating for me an atmosphere of friendship, support and sincere interest, as I move along this path. That is so important and I appreciate it more than I probably express to her. The example she sets is powerful for me.


I had sent a video for her to review and offer fine-tuning tips, and to use as the basis for my annual Inspired renewal. As we talked, she asked about my teaching. I described what I have encountered recently - the challenges presented by students and the actions I've recommended to them. We exchanged thoughts and - fortunately - all that I've been saying and recommending is supported by her. Our conversation shifted to deeper aspects of teaching. I came away from all this feeling good about my journey and re-energized to continue video'ing, studying, teaching.


When choosing a personal mentor (which is different from the mentor assigned to us once a video is submitted for Certification review), here are some things to consider:

1. How available is this mentor to you?
2. What are this mentor's time constraints?
3. Do you 'click' with this person? Are your experiences, background, goals similar enough that you will be able to develop a comfortable conversation, especially when receiving feedback?
4. This mentor does not have to be the person with whom you've done Immersions or Teacher Trainings, simply a Certified Anusara® teacher with whom you have experience and who knows you and is willing to work with you as you move along your teaching path.
5. Do not overlook that a personal mentor should be compensated for their time. Discuss this part of the arrangement.

A few conversations with the desired mentor ought to give you a sense about these points, a gut feeling about whether it will work or not. The process can be long, so take care on this early step to assure it is the best experience possible.

Third, well it's been so long since I started writing this blog (lots of interruptions), that I've forgotten. When I remember, I'll make a note and include it in 'notes' tomorrow.


This morning, cleaning house, yard, etc. Pilates at 1 pm; teaching YogaHour at 4 pm.


Enjoy your Thursday,