A NEW (old) QUEST

I hesitate to write this post, but need to get something on this blog -- after all it's been a long time since I've written here. So, after spending an hour on my yoga mat this morning, I decided it might be o.k. to tell you that it is never too late.

For 17 years, I have been loyal to this practice of yoga.  And, for all of those 17 years two frequently taught poses have eluded me.  Those are handstand and the backbend with hands and feet on floor, belly to ceiling.

Only once in all those years have I been able to push my head off the floor by myself (backbend), and I have yet to kick to handstand without some help.

At any training or workshop, when the guide asked us to move into one of these two poses, I'd quickly find a modification (for example, "L" pose at the wall or bridge).  And, worse, I was embarrassed by this behavior; so much so that I stopped even trying to do either - I'd just do the modification and end up feeling 'less than'.

So, enter 2015.  I asked students in many of the classes I teach to think about what pose or sequence or part of the practice that they would like to work on during the year.  FYI, I was noncommittal about this, when asked about my goal; mainly because I hadn't really thought about one.

Well, in early February (2/10 to be exact), I found a goal.  I did an on-line class as part of 'kicking up' my home practice a bit.  At the end of the class, I thought "I've lost some weight, maybe things have shifted in other areas."  So, in the privacy of our home studio, I placed my hands and feet, lifted my hips, came to the top of my head, and pushed my head at least 2 inches off the floor.  (Remember, this is only the second lift-off of my LIFE that I've experienced without assistance.)

Two days later, I did another class -- this one a preparatory one designed for backbends. Pushed up 3 (THREE) times and these were higher than two days earlier.

Every other day since then, I have gone to the home studio and turned on an online class. At the end of the class, I've given the backbend a try.  Each day (save one), my head has come off the floor 3 (THREE) times.  If we count them up, that's 22 backbends (urdhva dhanurasana) in 16 days!  The most recent, this morning.

I hesitated to tell (or write) about this to anyone; mainly because I often lose momentum once the cat is out of the bag.  But, for me, this is BIG.  I have shared it verbally with students and my family, and - so far - the momentum is still with me.  So, I will write.

Now, I am tempted to try kicking up to handstand.  No, I tell myself -- better to wait until you've got the backbend refined. Then, who knows!

All this work is certainly making me stronger.  My home practice used to involve gentle stretching, a few salutations, some twists - certainly nothing very challenging. My teaching has expanded from Gentle classes to include Basic Classes, and I have guided a intermediate practice a few times this year.  Therefore, my personal practice must shift.  If I am going to feel comfortable teaching something; I must have experienced it -- the journey.

So stepping back to first paragraph, 17 years is not too late.

I hope you have a great Thursday!