INTENTIONALLY 'FORGOT'. . .

I started to write in this blog yesterday morning. Soon realized that I had very little to offer and there were other things I could better devote my energy to at the moment. So, I signed out, missing an opportunity to get to the magic '400' a day or two sooner than it will happen -- whenever that is.

Yesterday, I began to write about the '400' mark. I marveled that I have done all that writing in the space of 16 months - not bad, for a project that began with big question marks in its future. Writing has come easily to me, much more easily than talking (unless it's to a class of students). Put me somewhere that small talk is required, and I fail miserably (or, maybe many of us fail miserably).

Point? I have, over the years, come to believe that we love talking about ourselves, our families, our successes, even our problems. When in a 'small talk situation', it's important to keep up the conversation. What? I ask someone a question about themself, they respond in kind. Many times, the former happens; the latter doesn't (I'm as guilty as the next person.). I have to believe, then, that many of us are not very good at small talk. There, I feel a bit better.

Instead of writing in the blog, I planned my class for yesterday morning. I decided to video (even if enough people weren't in the room), and also decided to continue with the theme of 'softening'. Each time I use it, I find more reasons to soften, more words to use in place of soften; I even remembered to do as JF had recommended -- explore the opposite (harden) and use some of my exploration in the class.

A year ago or so, it was suggested to me that it takes years to cultivate a class into a video-able (new word) state. Meaning, my video must show my teaching skills, both as I move through and speak to the class, and - as importantly - how my skills are reflected in what's happening in each student's pose. So, a class of new-to-yoga or new-to-me students will not be an ideal class to video.

The Saturday morning class is a mix -- some have been coming regularly, some show up on occasion (but know me), and every week someone drops in -- a new-to-yoga student, someone who has not participated in my classes (or Anusara® classes).

As much as I understand this suggestion, I also think much can be seen of my skills with a few unknown-to-me people in the room. How I handle the needed shift in a class plan. How I handle the late arrival. How I deal with a skewed down dog, or locked knees. How I explain the alignment, the reasons, the style itself. I think all of these are of value to a video reviewer; not just how I conduct a seasoned room of Anusara® yoga students.

On the flip side of the coin, it would be much easier to stay on track, to remember my theme, to remember the words and phrases I had planned to use, to keep all the 'balls in the air', if everyone understands what I am telling them from the get go.

Back to the other side of the coin -- how wonderful is it to walk past a new-to-yoga student and have her whisper "marvelous", or past another new-to-me student and have her say "I'm working hard" (as if that was her last expectation). Wow - I just hope those moments are reflected in the video. And, not on video - the 3-month-young yoga student who came up after class to tell me how much better she feels after these classes together. Whoa -- be still my heart! There's the goal, the reason -- students leave feeling better about themselves.

As I wrote the previous paragraph, my fingers want to hit the 'delete' button. Why? Because it sounds a bit (or a lot) like I'm touting my skills. Well, for 55+ years I have hit the 'delete' button. While I don't want to run amuck in self-aggrandizement; it's time to say (and believe) I can do this, I can make people feel better, I can make people laugh, I can teach without forgetting where I'm going or what I hope to accomplish. Thanks to my teachers, I've been given a tool chest full of skills and knowledge and I'm doing my best to apply and use them in my classes.

My final video may be of the current class, or it may be one of those 'invitation' classes. Whatever it is, now that I've convinced myself, I hope the video reflects my new-found confidence.

The morning class went well.  I did - for real - have 3 new-to-me students (one was new-to-yoga, as well). One person did arrive late. Everything I've written about happened, even the comments. I video'd it. Time to review and - perhaps - send on to Sundari.

In the afternoon, there was a 3-hour practice at Kula, so I decided to get some time on my own mat.  4 successful handstands, progress in some other poses, camaraderie of the group -- fun time.

Today? Run errands, check out a new cell phone, rest.

Enjoy your Sunday,