WHO ME?

This whole process of teaching and working towards a goal (Anusara® Certification) is riddled with land mines -- each one configured to push me out of my comfort zone.

Here's a brief list:

1. Teaching yoga. For a person who used to suffer terrible stage fright (not a good thing for a fundraiser in my past life), I can now stand up in front of 100+ people (IRS managers, no less) and tell them ways to de-stress. For 2 hours, no less! Then there's the weekly classes, where I meet many new and old friends; and, sometimes, the old friends are the hardest to teach -- they knew me back when I was new to the practice, stiff(er), and much less disciplined. Peer pressure.

2. Attending Workshops & Trainings. I believe I've accumulated well over 500 hours with John Friend alone, as well as many more hours with very skilled Certified Anusara® teachers. This was not easy. My first experience with John was when I climbed in my car, drove 200 miles south to Inner Harmony by myself, and stuck myself in a room with 60 other people who all knew each other but did NOT know me. Being a somewhat shy person, one of the other 3 'newbies' in the room and I stuck together through the days I attended.

Since then, I still do things alone for the most part. I love having a friend with me, but if I had to wait for friends, I sure wouldn't have accumulated so many hours. And, each time it's a mental argument with myself -- should I apply, how do I get there, where do I stay, now - the workshop/training (am I qualified, etc., etc., etc.,).

3. Videotaping, being observed, and receiving feedback. If you've been reading this blog, you know my video travails. Being observed is better (at least I don't have to deal with a camera). Both add another dimension to 'teaching' a class. This is one aspect I know has to happen, but not one that I necessarily enjoy.

The feedback part is becoming easier. The hardest part of this is NOT making excuses; NOT trying to justify/argue why I did or said something. Accept the feedback, mull it around a bit, incorporate it, move on. I've selected a mentor with years of experience in yoga and Anusara® -- she knows this stuff. And, if I feel strongly about something, I can always re-visit it later. Feedback sessions are just that -- time to receive feedback, hard as it might be to listen to.

4. Teaching more. As I get into this, I realize the only way to get better is to teach more. So, back to #1, throwing myself in front of lots of people, more often.

5. Studying while numbers 1-4 are happening. There's tons of reading to be done. Occasionally, it's important for me to throw a no-brainer book in just to soften the edges. But, reading books & articles, reviewing notes, journaling are all becoming steady parts of my life.

There are probably things I've forgotten. Just writing this is a good reminder of all the good changes that have happened in my life since starting on this journey. Each was and continues to be a mental struggle (after all, a 59-year-old is pretty set in her ways), but each enriches my life.

What could be next? A workshop, you say! Not just attending, but teaching it!?!

Well, yes. That will be next. I'm working on ideas -- what will my demographic like, what can I effectively teach them, what will benefit a like-minded group of students.

Once I have an idea, I'll set the date and we'll see what happens. Maybe I should change the name of this blog to "my comfort zone expands, no matter how much I resist"

Cloudy & cooler in SLC; enjoy your Sunday,