Wednesday, July 21, 2010

A HOPEFUL DREAM

One of the two things about my asana practice that continues to escape me is handstand at the wall. In Tiffany's class the other night, we did it. My first thought, as she asked us to take our mats to the wall was "oh, no, not this".
    First, tho, we did 'L' pose at the wall. That goes fine, for me. She then asked me to help with a demo (more 'oh, no' thoughts). As she completed her request, she quietly whispered "I'll walk you up". See, it's not that I can't do handstand or that I'm afraid to go upside down. It's that kicking part. And, Tiffany knows that; so, she wisely assured me and we went forward with a successful demo.
    Even as I write this, I'm holding a vision of being able to do the kicking; yet, feeling that if I went to a wall, it would look more like a donkey kick than a handstand kick. I believe I have truly set up a mental block for myself on this particular pose.
    Each time someone says - this will help your kick to the wall - I grasp at it for dear life. I hold that thought, try to do the action. Hasn't clicked yet.
    The truly frustrating part of all this is watching a newer-to-yoga student kick lightly up. And, they don't have to be younger, more fit, smarter -- many (most) people can kick up. I haven't done it yet. I can kick up in the middle of the room with a partner, and I can have my leg 'walked up'. Just don't put me at a wall and say 'kick up'.
    This whole 'kicking to the wall' does become an issue, when you read repeatedly in Anusara® workshop literature that one of the requirements for participation is 'you must be able to kick up to the wall in handstand without assistance'. Now that's a barrier, a wall - one I would love to argue someone about, just not sure who to take it to. Why, when a person can do any number of more challenging poses, are they discouraged from participating due to their lack of prowess in 'kicking to the wall'.  
    I'm sure there is a very valid reason and probably one I don't want to hear as I linger in this 'poor me' state - but, it does cause me to wonder.  
    So, what do I do to solve the problem?  I practice, I buy videos (Betsy Downing's is a good one), I've done privates (Adam has some pretty funny videos of my trying to kick up), I visualize, I dream.  I haven't given up.
    In fact, last night's dream was about just that -- kicking to the wall. Can't remember the specifics, like who was helping me. But, whoever it was, took me farther towards success than anyone has yet.  I even remember that moment that legs reached over my head (very similar feeling to the real-life moment I kicked to the wall in headstand - first teacher training with Desiree Rumbaugh). This morning I awoke more hopeful. Going to try to get to the studio a bit early, move and give it a try. 
    I'll be sure to keep you posted if it works; if not, well silence will tell the story.  

    p.s. FYI, I am making progress on the second 'asana issue'.

    Today's schedule:
    • Teaching Gentle Yoga at 10 am
    • Lunch with Howard (we're officially on diets - videos and photos don't lie, time to drop some weight!)
    • To the bank with paperwork to finalize a re-fi on the Idaho house (great interest rates can't be ignored)
    • Subbing for Isabelle tonight - Restorative Yoga at 7:15 pm; tho, she calls it "Bliss". Which it is.
    I added a new feature to this blog - the ability to quickly share the post with your friends and neighbors. Though, I'm not sure that this is the blog I want shared 'around the world'. All my foibles and flaws hung out for the world to see. Oh, well.  

    Another warm day predicted; stay cool, everyone, 

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